Indelible Marks

The Pain associated with loss

February 28, 2008 on 1:26 pm | In Family, Investment, Life, Love |

As I write this article, I am feeling pain over a loss…..i lost an article. Not just an article, well it was an article but it took time to write, it took thinking, researching, don’t you understand? more thinking, putting words together, removing some more. Rearranging thoughts….shiiiii, I was writing and saving or so I thought….Actually, I used the “Save and Continue Editing” option, wasn’t it supposed to autosave as I typed more stuff? My Senior colleagues in this blogging business, pls tell me what to do so as to avoid this loss in future.

Here I am lamenting over the loss of an article, (again it was no ordinary article, girl, get over it already!) the “depth” of my pain makes me realise that someone somewhere at this time is going through a deeper grief. What have you (just) lost?

A close member of your family? …..Died, was ill, you just spoke with him and he sounded just fine…….Left for work, hale and hearty, next thing, Gone. Or You always thought you would travel home at Christmas to be reconciled to your father. You guys fell out because you refused to study Medicine (his choice) rather you sponsored yourself, struggling through it till you graduated as a Theatre artist. One Christmas rolled into another and now your mum just called you, weeping, “He’s gone”.

Your dream?

Your job?

A contract…you bidded, you hoped, you prayed

A job interview…you did your best at that test, you passed but the interview……

A relationship. Everyone including both of you thought you were headed for the altar for the ultimate I do! Somewhere along the line, things fell apart (apologies to Chinua Achebe). It’s over, get over it already. Your erstwhile partner has since moved on, what are you waiting for?

A financial investment….MONEY. You thought it would help improve your financial position, but now you are convinced it was a wrong move, now you are in debt.

While you could re-write a lost article, some things don’t respond to Autosave to salvage their loss. Some losses are not just as simple as they sound. Take the case of the husband that procrastinated and kept putting off taking out time to see a lawyer to draw out a will and now he’s gone. The wife doesn’t work at the moment cos she took time out to raise their children and they operated a joint account. She couldn’t be pushy about his resolving the issue of the will lest she be thought to be considering murdering her husband.

My heart goes out to everyone in this situation. There are lessons to be learnt though. I guess it goes without saying that we can’t afford to live our Relationships with others in a mess. Let’s not even begin to doubt our ability and willingness to forgive. Just do it…hard as it may sometimes be. There is no other way out.

The importance of writing a will can not be overemphasized. It could save a lot of heartache. Women need to be financially independent. The balancing act of building a career and raising a family is not an easy one but God will see us through. PLAN.

Did you, like me, loose money to some bad investment decisions…2007 seemed to have got a lot of us in that situation. The “Wonder Bank” saga, I wonder, “What are the lessons learnt?”  Do proper due diligence. Don’t be fooled by the crowd effect. Don’t ignore your gut feeling as well.

There might have been signals you ignored in that relationship you lost. What he is not saying could be an indication of what he is saying…Selah!

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